July 4, 2022

Life Hyme

A Fashionista Blog

50+ Golf Quotes For Relieving the Stress

6 min read
Golf Game Stress Relieving Game Lifehyme

Golf is littered with great quotes from players and managers. Mark Twain once wrote playing golf was a good way to spoil a walk through the pasture. There is no doubt that, Golf is also a game of honor and can be used to play for relieving the stress.

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First and foremost, golf is a way to either work out stress and frustration, or, for many, to get even more stressed out and frustrated. It can be the most infuriating game ever played or invented, or the most fun. And, no two trips to the golf course will ever be the same, regardless of how good a player someone is.

We live in a stressful world, so it’s only natural that we look for new venues of entertainment to ease our minds. You can get a lot of entertainment when you play the game of golf. Especially if you’re willing to have a little fun with it!

Here are 50+ of the most famous golf quotes:

1. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
– William Wordsworth

2. A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible.

3. Forget your opponents; always play against par. Sam Snead

4. I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer

5. Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.
– Bobby Jones

6. Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
– Arthur Daley

7. Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it’s wrong but you can’t keep away from her.
– Val Doonican

8. The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
– Michael Green

9. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
– John Updike

10. Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
– Grantland Rice

11. If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
– Horace G. Hutchinson

12. Born to golf. Forced to work.

13. My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

14. The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
– Phyllis Diller

15. Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it’s called the PGA Tour.

16. Golf is a good walk spoiled.
– Mark Twain

17. If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
– Dean Martin

18. Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
– P.J. O’Rourke

19. I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G.K. Chesterton

20. When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.

21. If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
– Joey Adams

22. Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one.
– Martha Beckman

23. Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.
– Michael Green

24. Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass.
– Bob Hope

25. Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
– Lee Trevino

26. I’ve spent most of my life golfing – the rest I’ve just wasted.

27. They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken.
– Raymond Floyd

28. Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose.
– Woodrow Wilson

29. Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you’ve found a man about to make a difficult putt.
– Fletcher Knebel

30. The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
– George Deukmejian

31. My handicap? Woods and irons.
– Chris Codiroli

32. The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
– John Updike

33. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
– Pete Dye

34. If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
– Lee Trevino

35. Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop

36. I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.
– Harry Toscano

37. I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
– Gerald Ford

38. Play it as it lies” is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is “Wear it if it clashes.

39. A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.
– Barry Fitzgerald

40. I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
– Bob Hope

41. It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
– Hank Aaron, 1971

42. A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o’clock and make it go toward 12 o’clock. But make sure you’re in the same time zone.
– Ted Cook

43. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
– Jimmy DeMaret

44. May thy ball lie in green pastures… and not in still waters?

45. If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.

46. Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
– Paul Harvey

47. Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon

48. There are two things you can do with your head down – play golf and pray.
– Lee Trevino

49. Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods

50. You can’t call it a sport. You don’t run, jump, you don’t shoot, you don’t pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don’t match.
– Steve Sax

51. Golf is not just an exercise; it’s an adventure, a romance… a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined.
– Harold Segall

52. One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.
– Don Carter

53. A “gimme” can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.

54. Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny

55. Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
– Art Rosenbaum

56. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
– Jimmy DeMaret

57. Its good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.
– Mark Twain


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